Day Nine without Clingy

This is my first blog.  Some girls want white horses and dashing men with waxed moustaches;  I’ve always wanted a blog.   I never had anything pertinent to talk about, until something kind of bad happened to me.  So this blog will be about that “bad” thing.  It is my hope that if you have had the same thing happen to you or if you are still with clingy, you won’t feel alone.  I used to have a clingy too.

I’m living in Japan.  I teach English here.  Yes, you will most certainly find errors in this blog.  Just keeping you on your toes.  When I lived in America, I noticed a small lump between my jaw and ear.  Right in the soft spot there.  I went to an ENT.  He told me it was scar tissue from ear infections.  He wanted to try a proceedure that he said might loosen the scar tissue.  He took a fine point drill and inserted it into the scar tissue about nine times.  I left with nine holes in my neck, a gauze bandage and the scar tissue still clinging to that soft spot behind my jaw.

Over the next couple of months, my time was eaten up by packing, saying ‘good-bye’, and settling into life in Japan.  But that hard spot was always on my mind.  Sometimes during  a lesson my finger would rest absentmindedly on that spot and I would wonder why it hadn’t gone away.  And I was scared.

When the current of life gradually regressed into  class I rapids, I went to an ENT in Tokyo who, after feeling the spot, to my horror immediately referred me to a large hospital.  OMG!,  I thought.  This is as bad as I thought it would be. 

If you are reading this and you’ve had the same problem as me, I know you probably thought the worst just like me.  I imagined it was a lymph node.  I was Debra Winger (whatever happened to her?) in Terms of Endearment and I was going to die a slow, painful death.  Even though I am joking, for anyone who has been in a situation like this, it drags you on your knees to the edge of your life.  Between the firm ground your on and the drop off, there’s only a line of possibility. 

I had an ultra sound.  Something I am surprised the ENT in America never thought to do.  The doctor told me two things that day.  “This spot beneath your jaw is not scar tissue, it’s a tumor.  Not only do you have a tumor in your parotid gland, but you also have a tumor in your thyroid.” 

“Oh, my god,” I said.  “Are they cancerous?” 

“We don’t know yet,” she explained.

“Well what do you think?  Can’t you tell by looking?”

“No, we have to do a fine needle biopsy.”

I really wanted her to tell me it was nothing to worry about, even if it was a lie. 

For anyone who reads this, please take care.  I’ll continue this story later.  I have to take back a DVD before the rental shop charges me late fees.

Good night.

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